The following are a series of short posts, each done in response to viewer “asks” (presented in blockquotes for context). People seemed to like it, my inbox had many such asks, but eventually I grew tired of the one-sided game and stopped responding as quickly, which killed it. Oh well! At least I had fun, and hope that shines thru here :)
The publish date on this post is the publish date of the first response. The last response is a fair bit removed.
wolf on the
stumbles about in fit of surprise/panic at receiving an Ask for the first time in a while
hurriedly shufs all the papers on her desk onto the floor in order to look presentable while presenting her Answer
clears her throat and opens her mouth to speak, staring intently at a point just past the viewer (is it a teleprompter?)
“Breakfast Nook”1
deep sigh of relief, she didn’t mess up for once
realizes she’s been on camera for too long and dives back under her desk, which doesn’t have a front panel so you can still see her just sprawled out there. oh look she’s reading manga now
do you think that is acceptable wolf-like behaviour?
slowly peeks back over the desk, realizes she’s been visible the entire time, and blushes
composes herself & assumes a business-like posture, turning to her left to look outside, before very intently turning back toward the viewer
“Yes (=w=)”
slumps back down in her chair to rest her chin on the desk, and then naps like this
Purple! 💜
wakes up from a long nap and yawns, slightly unsure of what she just heard. double-checking with external sources confirms that yes, this Ask is exactly what she thought it was.
now she’s fully awake and even more confused. how is she supposed to answer this? is this Jeopardy or something? she can feel the tension in the air rising. Something is about to Happen. giving it her best shot, she answers the answer with a question:
“Purple? –”
she instinctively covers her mouth to prevent the last syllable(?) from leaking out. but it’s too late. the remaining impossible noise is screaming inside her mouth to be reunited with that already permeating the room. there’s no choice; she gives in
“–”
it Happens. a floating Purple heart materializes in the center of the room and within a fraction of a second glows so blindingly Purple you could see it thru your eyelids. with a soundless BANG it leaves only Purple behind. everything is Purple now. the floors, wall, ceiling, desk, chair, her, all the same shade of Purple. the air is Purple. the atoms are Purple. gravity is Purple. Purple. Purple.
she sighs and resets the room, stepping out to take a shower to wash all the purple off.
meow~?
a kitty! cats aren’t usually this friendly around her, so she takes the opportunity to kneel down and gently pet it, scritching under its chin. the cat purrs, and she purrs back:
“Good girl~”
squeak
a vaguely mouse-like indistinct animal noise emanates from across the room, and she turns her head to scan for what caused it while still petting the cat that walked in earlier. oh! it’s a second cat! today must be her lucky day. she motions with her free hand and beckons:
“Pspspspspsps, c’mere kitty~”
the second cat obliges, happily trotting over & nuzzling her hand. joy! she’s now petting two cats at once. suddenly she realizes how untenable her situation has become. What if something demands the use of her hands and she has to stop petting the cats? Or worse, what if a third cat comes in and demands pets too? That would be so unfair. Oh well, better savor the good times while they’re here. She smiles serenely and continues lovingly petting both cats.
💥
she eyes the latest message arrive on the screen in front of her, realizes what it’s intended to do, and has a brief jolt of fear. a purposeful attack on the medium in which she exists, as demonstrated by what happened last time? who would do such a thing??
she waits, frozen, but nothing happens. then she remembers: she’s already installed defenses for a situation like this! and they must have worked, considering the previously-petted cats sleeping next to her haven’t woken up from any noise
suddenly, as if the universe deigned to play a trick on her just as she let her guard down, a small 💥 gets thru, not enough to cause any damage but more than enough to wake, startle, & scatter both sleeping kitties. shock turns to sullenness and she sulks, not saying anything.
awoo?
a small noise causes her ears to twitch in her sleep, slowly rising her from her slumber. she blearily fumbles about, which causes the computer mouse in her hand to clatter onto the floor. jolting awake, she’s greeted with… 117 unread emails?? ok phew thank goodness it hasn’t gone over 200 yet.
she rewinds the security footage a bit to find out what that noise was, leans back in her chair for a moment to contemplate an appropriate response, but who is she kidding there’s only one possible answer:
“Awooghk… rmm. RGHAACK. Awooooooooooooooo!!”
she severely misjudged the state of her morning throat in front of her entire audience, how embarrassing… oh well, no matter! she leans back in her chair, happy to start off the weekend right with a wolf howl.